Because I have a Sense of Humor

The Weber Clan at Lisa & Ray’s Wedding.
Question of the night: Can someone please tell me what I am doing??? Ok, I know I am fixing my dress but have I no shame? Apparently, I do not :-) Proving once again, that even when I try to fade into the back ground I will gracefully find a way to be seen. lol.

Lisa and Ray's Wedding

An amazing day. Probably the most fun I’ve had a wedding in a long time. My father had the honor of officiating over the marriage. I was asked to read during the ceremony - thank goodness we checked the reading or I would have been reading an un-approved passage. Whoops! Lisa would have been shooting me looks from the pew.

The wedding was also especially fabulous because of the company and partly because I had a broken toe (rogue wine bottle) and I got to were Birkenstocks with my dress! HeHeHe sheer heaven!

Best of all I had the gift of my cousin’s - all but Deborah who is serving in Iraq--in the same place for a few memorable days. I was actually depressed for the whole week after the gang headed back to North Dakota.

Mamie meet Buddha

So....I managed to get this giraffe from Africa through 3 airports, about 6 security checks and into the overhead compartment. A lot of smiles and eyelashes helped get her home. And then I walked off the plan without her. Luckily I realized that my shoulders felt awfully light and realized I left her on the plane. Back on board there she was, waiting in the seat for me.

Mamie is special addition to my travel collection. She is named after one of the many amazing woman I traveled with to South Africa who wisely convinced me to not just get the giraffe, but to go and go big. I think she suggested that I may only get to Africa once in my life and I certainly do not want to have only a table top giraffe. I took a risk and it paid off. Mamie is seen here posing next to Buddha. They can be see in my APT gazing across the room at each other.

An Excited Crowd, High School, Soweto

One of the funniest and most memorable performance, the kids went crazy over our singing. Think Beatlemania - no exaggeration! They were pulling at us, wanted our clothes, glasses, purses anything we would part with - I gave them my shirt. Some of our guys were totally cornered by the girls who were screaming and crying to try to get close to us. Completely surreal and not what we expected from the work we were doing. They followed us on to our bus and begged us to take them with us.

My Host Family, Chiawelo, Soweto

We drove to Baragwanath, Soweto to meet with our host families. My host family was a solid matriarchal family, led by a lovely Grandmother who ran the household of 10 people. 8 Woman and 2 boys under 10.

Rebecca and I walked with two teenage girls 1 mile to their home as they didn’t have a car. The whole walk to their home the girls were insisting on carrying our bags and taking our hands as we crossed streets. In retrospect it is kind of funny, never in my life have I been greeted by so many people I didn’t know with a hug, a kiss and an “I love you”. This was so common that I thought that everyone was friendly by nature but that was not the case. Fortuniate, our 16-year old hostess had her hands full defending our “honor” as she yelled at the men in Sooto. She was both nervous and excited by having 2 tall american women staying with her. She said that she would be a celebrity on Monday because according to her everyone was watching and they don’t get white visitors often. :-)

We got to the family’s home and found out that neighbors and extended family were waiting to meet us--everyone wanted to meet the “Americans”. We ran some errands with the girls via cab. It’s a make-shift system as there is no public transportation. Taxi’s are white mini-vans that run loops on certain streets. When they point a finger in the air vertically, they are going to “town” when they point a finger horizontally they are going to the “hospital”. That should give you an idea of the current state of affairs. For 5 Rand, or about $0.70 you can ride anywhere on that loop. People often jump in a taxi take it to a certain point on their journey and then walk for a mile to get to the next taxi. We took a cab with the girls who had to run some errands and eventually we had a home cooked meal together. The family gave Rebecca and I the master bedroom which made us both a bit uneasy. They obviously purchased new linens and supplied us with toiletries. I was tempted to leave money as I know this visit had a financial implication on the family, but I understood how much it meant to the family to “do” for us and to “go out of their way for us”.

I think the most notable things about the visit was the lack of men and the profound mixture of both joy and sadness these people have in their lives. As we looked through family photo albums we heard “that’s my auntie...she died”...that’s my dad...no he’s dead”. Many of the fathers of these children are MIA or they are causing more drama than good but the family allows them to stay in hopes of some financial support. It also made sense why so many of the women were doting on the men who I came with as it according to them it is rare to find a solid man in their community. Even so, they say they have received many blessings and are very joyous.

Truth and Reconsilliation Committee (TRC)

I had the pleasure of dining with one of the men, Prof. Piet Meiring who will be on sabbatical at Princeton University this Fall 2007.

The TRC was a committee set up post-apartheid to literally “hear the truth” and attempt “reconciliation” among the sides. The TRC was lead by Bishop Desmond Tutu. Two members of the committee Prof. Piet Meiring (white african) and Prof. Maake Masango (black africa) were on the committee. They spoke about their distain for each other in the beginning and how in time they grew to love and support each other through this trying and emotional process. The process lasted about two years and they saw approximately 200,000 victims of apartheid. According to the men, many families expressed their thankfulness to the committee for the opportunity to speak to the truth of what was done to them to TRC while others who did not get a chance to speak didn’t see the value in this process. Understandable. The men retold many stories of truth and forgiveness, where victims and offenders came together in reconciliation. I think the most impactful fact that was made crystal clear to me was how many global business’, instilled systemic discrimination within the workplace, from wages to benefits. I must admit it makes me hesitant about continuing to use products from those companies knowing about there dark past.

Our South African tour guide was the brother-in-law of Prof. Piet Meiring. He shared his own personal experience with apartheid and as a retried minister himself he also felt he had some amends to make. He had tears in his eye when he explained to me that the church used religion to support and justify apartheid in South Africa. He explain how the theory of “due unto others as you would have done to you” was used to keep segregation. Would YOU want to be with a black african? Then they probably don’t want to be with you so it is best to keep separate. He also teared up when he retold of the day he personally took his black african domestic staff to vote. He said it took days of convicting as there was a lot of fear that the black africans would be reprimanded somehow for voting. He explain how he and his wife “book-ended” the staff and walked them to the voting booth. A memory neither of us will forget.

Reflecting on our performances...

I recall Andres, the white-African music director of the Stollenbosch University event talking about how ten years ago this would not have been possible. Ten years ago they would have been arrested for talking to each other, for performing with each other. It was impossible to believe that people would be arrested for associating with people of a different race. I was not raised to see color, size or sexual orientation and while I have clearly seen racism throughout my life, it was hard to fathom systematic racism. In the choir, bringing together people of different backgrounds was the diversity we strived to achieve. We were a motley crew of all ages, sizes, colors and convictions. It was a badge of diversity that we all proudly wore. Andres said that he could actually see our bright, white light coming in the room when we entered and that he hopes through us he can teach others how to emulate it, that our spirit, our passion was tangible. As if our convictions were right there on stage with us, as fellow choir members, dressed and ready to sing.

I was surprised at first see some of the posters around the city that promoted our performance. Having experienced only a nominal level of notoriety back in the States, I thought about how I would never be able to describe to my family and friends the Beatlemania-like affect I felt we were experiencing. Whether the stage is Lincoln Center or in the basement of a local synagogue the sentiment is the same.

After hundreds of performances singing the music I love, I have become much better at knowing when to pull my voice back so that my vocals don’t crack in the intense, emotional atmosphere. It’s usually during or after key change when the song reaches its pinnacle, the payoff comes and I often get really emotional. It’s pull back or crack, baby. Like a dream that carries you away, almost an outer body experience, you can influence the crowd with your enthusiasm but the crowd mostly influences you. The audience is so important to a performance. Their vibe, their chemistry is absorbed on stage. The need for the audience to respond is so great. When they don’t its like reading your journal to a wall and expecting compassion and empathy in return. This was definitely not like shows they do back home. Sure, people buy our CD’s, attend our shows at New York’s major venues. But, here something transcendent happens. You become one with the audience. Everyone in the venue is contributing to the performance. They are responding to you, and you are in returned charged by them. Suddenly you are the catalyst for magical experiences. Everyone is on there feet, singing along, clapping and stomping to the beat. You can measure your success in the tears of others.